Monday, September 15, 2008

no excuses

So. I didn't go to my morning Spanish class this morning. Why not? Umm...? No, actually I do know, I woke up in a funk. My alarm went off at 6 for my run. I hadn't slept well at all the night before, took me forever to fall asleep and then I spent the rest of the night tossing and turning, so getting out of bed at 6 was not at the top of my list. I turned it off and decided to make up for the run tonight. My second alarm went off at 7. I usually need to get up at this point to make sure that I'm showered, dressed, and fed to leave for class at 8.30. But getting out of bed was still not on the top of my list. I turned it on snooze and decided I'd shower after my run tonight. I actually didn't wake up to the second time around and only got out of bed when my "mom" knocked on my door to get a jacket out of one of the closets in my room... at 8.15! Yes I was out of bed but it was a cold, gloomy day and I wasn't in a good mood at all. Although I'm sure this would of brightened Erin's day, lol, the combo did nothing for me and I found myself crawling back into bed. I had woken up in a weird mood, I was disappointed that I missed my morning run, I was mad that I was missing class without a real reason, and then I was even more upset that everything and nothing was bothering me so much. You see, I'm one of those people who not only wakes up happy but also peppy and ready to take on the day! This whole series of events is so unlike me! Not to mention that I HATE feeling down without an excuse because I have a strong perspective in the fact that I'm incredibly blessed and lucky, more so than an unfortunately large number of people on the planet, and have no reason to feel sorry for myself. I suppose it's good to not be so self-centered, but this kind of thinking usually ends up making me feel worse because I put myself down for feeling down in the first place. Oh gosh, haha, it's sooo ridiculously counterintuitive. Doesn't it suck when that happens?
When I finally got up around 9 I was craving oatmeal as I do most Monday mornings. I went for a banana, milk, flax, and PB combo, as usual, and savored the deliciousness of it all alongside a cup of coffee. Then I went back to my room and sat around, unproductive and in my funk for a while. Suddenly I got the idea to go on my run, now, since I wasn't in class. Yeah, ugh, but I didn't want to, I didn't feel like running or doing anything. Well, that wasn't cutting it for me. I didn't have an excuse for missing my class and I definitely did not have an excuse for not spending my free time doing my scheduled run. So, I dragged myself out the door and did it... and it felt amazing. I wouldn't call myself crazy, per se, haha, but running is such a wonderful way to keep myself sane. The half-an-hour exploring a new part of my neighborhood in the cool weather really gave me the time to sort my thoughts and I when I was done I was back to my usual happy self again. Thank God! Back at the house I took my shower, straightened up my room, and got to work on some homework, all in a good mood. And at one point I also snacked on 2 clementines as I was starting to get hungry for lunch but wanted to wait for my "mom" to get home from work. When she did, 1:30ish, we ate the left-over frittata with ensaladas y arroz. It was a tasty meal and I appreciated spending the time together. Now, I gotta run to the bus so I'm not late for my remaining class of the day! If you did have the energy to read above, thank you for letting me vent about my nothingness, I just felt the need to share. Enjoy your Monday!

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