an older sister

For four years of my life, I was an only child, and on my mom's side, also the only neice and granddaughter. Suffice to say, though I was excited to find out I was to have a little brother, there was no way my tastefully-spoiled self was ready. And I wasn't. At seven, I remember showing my three-year-old brother the "scary animals" on my parents' blanket; the same "scary animals" that had kept him from sleeping in his own bed. He started crying. I told my mom I didn't know why. Three years later, my little sister was born.

I say that to eliminate any preconceived notions of me being the nicest older sister. I'm not. But I also remember crying myself to sleep at nine remembering how I'd picked on Jorgie and Deanna. Since the age of five, I've literally despised anyone who's ever wronged them... as if that's somehow constructive in making them feel better. And, more than 20 years later, I continue to be shamelessly protective. It's worth noting that they're hardly little anymore and not at all helpless. Also, they mean the world to me.

I came home to see my friend marry the love of her life. I did, and it was wonderful. But first, I came home to see my little sister graduate from high-school. I came home to spend time with my little brother. We've been through a lot together as a family, and my heart swelled to see how well they're doing. I couldn't be prouder. In spite of my early bullying, they've grown into such incredible young adults. I even had the joy of bringing Deanna to Ithaca College's orientation. We had a graduation party to celebrate after.

The boy had already left by then so it was really just the three of us, and our parents, and our extended family and friends. I honestly couldn't get enough. It had been too long since I had such quality family time. The most amazing part? Despite not always being eager to play the roles, I realized I've become the luckiest older sister, niece, granddaughter, cousin, and daughter there is. This post got a lot more sentimental than intended because of it.

one belated note to self

Dear recent graduate,


Congratulations! You probably don't yet understand why I'm saying that. It's not because you've accomplished so much in those four years of college, although I'm sure you have. It's not because you've grown more than they ever could've imagined, although, again, I'm sure you have. It's because you're on your way into the next phase, the most challenging and exciting one, and I know you're ready.


There's a few things you should know about this place known as "the real world." For one thing, it is not unlike the one you already know. The friends you've surrounded yourself with are very much still there. College may be over, but your relationships are not. Savor them and continue to enjoy them. Just because you no longer live with your best friends, does not mean that you're now alone in this. The bond between friends, the love that resides there, knows no bounds. Not even distance, I promise. And, of course, realize that the support from your family will never falter. You'll find that with each "grown-up" hurdle, you'll appreciate them more and more.


Secondly, please know that nobody out here has any idea what they're doing. Sure, they may seem like they have a plan; yeah, maybe they can tell you where they hope to be in five years; but the beauty of this crazy world of ours is in it's flexibility and freedom. If you're like me, make a schedule to create comforting structure for the time being. Next, since you're probably seeking employment or further education, (unless you're one of the lucky few that have already acquired it), I tell you: Dreams do come true but life is not a fairy tale. Each one of us is doing our best, slowly figuring things out along the way, and you can and will do the same. You want to be happy, right? I know it. You know what you love and you know what you are already good at, but do you know why you're good at these things? Probably because you love them too. Children enjoy most what they do best and true passion has a way of creating a practice that leads to improvement. Take these things, focus your time and energy on them, and they will lead you exactly where you're supposed to be, towards what you're supposed to be doing. 


With that said, note that for most, this journey is not an expressway. It's not supposed to be. There will be wrong turns and minor detours but have faith that they are all a part of the adventure. They are, and you deserve the experience. You'll discover your true self along the way.


Finally, and this point is no less important the previous ones, embrace the uncertainty. I know it's not easy, trust me, I do. I know you're afraid, I promise you that I still am, too. But just because you are now supposedly a "grown up" in "the real world" does not mean that you're no longer allowed to live your life. If you're moving to a new city, make sure you're open to creating new friendships. If you're adjusting to a work week and a 9-5 job, make sure you keep your hobbies and try new things. If you still feel like you're at square one, be kind to yourself, listen to your heart, and trust what it is telling you. And, when you feel like everything around you is moving far too fast for you to deal with, STOP. Take a deep breath. Let go of all the pressures. It may not seem like it, but there really is no rush. You truly can enjoy yourself while finding the right fit of an income and giving back to society in some way. Yet, it's also true that the options and possibilities are overwhelming. Take each day, and each moment, at a time. You are ready and everything will be okay. The best things are yet to come.

With love and encouraging hugs,

Me

(a girl that was in your shoes just one year and two days ago)

paris in mind

Last night I had an hour and a half to kill before meeting an old friend for dinner. Before leaving work, I scoured the NYC free event listings until I came upon a  Ron Galella exhibition at Clic Bookstore & Gallery. Done and done. The photographs were absolutely beautiful, and it was so wonderfully satisfying to wander around the gallery alone as I gazed upon them, (you can take a look for yourself here, I'm sure you'll recognize a few). Then, just as I was about to leave, I said goodbye and thank you to the curator and heard something... an accent. One deep breath later and I had walked over to him to ask if he was French. "Non," he replied, "mais j'y ai véciu pendant huit ans."

He wasn't French but he had lived there for eight years, and although I didn't ask, it sounded like he was a native French-speaker from another Francophone country. We chatted for a while about my own studies and he complimented me on my French. Oh, my dears, you should have seen me, I was beaming! Finally, just as I began to bid him adieu, he asked if I was continuing to practice the language. I admitted a non but promised to join a French conversation group soon. And with that, plus an enchanté and a hand shake, I headed uptown to The Crooked Knife.

The Crooked Knife is a French-style bistro serving American, Irish, and Italian food. I surprisingly managed to arrive early and chat with the waitress, who just happened to be  French. I apparently could not escape it last night. Consequently, my friend that was on her way, studied French as well, in addition to being abroad in Strasbourg, and having a fascination with languages, and graduating from Newhouse with a degree in magazine journalism. 

Her name is Agatha, and she is wonderful. We met, serendipitously enough, through a mutual work friend about three years ago and I have not seen her in two. As a result, we sat wining and dining for two and a half hours. We talked about all kinds of things but most relevant, at least to this blog, we spoke about France, food, and le joie de vivre. Translated the last phrase means, a joy of life, but it's so much more than that, and yet perhaps it's power can only be felt in it's French origin.

Four and a half years ago, Chris and I visited Marie in Paris for the first time. My grasp of the French language was at a beginner's level, at best, and still I found myself understanding it. Since then, four visits later, their general philosophy towards food, and living in general, has not once ceased to amaze me. Or Agatha, for that matter. Although I'll admit that these cultural themes are quite prevalent in most other foreign countries as well, or so I found in my own experience.

To begin with, food is appreciated for the pleasure it brings. Taste and presentation is revered whether it be at the finest dining establishment or in the comfort of one's own home. As such, wine and bread can often be found on every table, alongside water, of course.

Second, quality is a prioritized. People eat food, real food, that is readily available in their region at the whichever season they may be in at that moment. This is not to say bananas aren't available year-round in large supermarkets, but that also doesn't necessarily mean that people are accustomed to buying them 12 months of the year, nor skimping out on the dandelion roots or leeks when truly fresh.

Third, food is understood to be exactly what it is, nourishment. In today's day and age, it is difficult to not be informed about what is healthy and what is not, but people do not let them stop that from living. They eat well, for the most part, and don't let anxiety, fear, or despair distract them from other joys of life.

Now, as I sit on my desk, snacking on a multigrain Wasa cracker that is topped with Dark Chocolate Dreams and savoring a glass of Bordeaux, I think I get it. I have bookshelves full of nutrition books, I've experimented with multiple dietary styles, I seek out organic foods at the farmer's market, I focus on eating lots of green and I don't stress out when I don't. I finally care enough without caring too much. All there's left to do is sign up for a conversation group with Agatha at the French Institute Alliance Française...

P.S. I spent my evening watching my little brother graduate from high school.

I. feel. old. Mais c'est la vie, je suppose.

reunions

Hello, my dears! Where has the weekend gone? Please, answer me that. 

It began with a margarita on the Upper East side. The drink may have been almost too sweet for my liking but the price was right ($2 during Happy Hour). Besides, I was in the company of two of my favorite fellow S.U. grads that were visiting the city for the weekend... I couldn't just get a beer, or heaven forbid, water ;).

We dined at the original Brother Jimmy's, (one of the multiple country BBQ joints around the city, including my 21st birthday kick-off to the night spot.) and much to my surprise, I found a "healthy dinner" option, the Nag's Head Veggie: grilled vegetables and a baked sweet potato. Unfortunately, nothing was pure enough to cancel out the mixed drink(s) and by nine I headed home with an upset stomach.

A somewhat reasonable human being would probably end the night there, but, after resting on the train ride and lying down in my own bed for a while, I started to feel better. So much so, that when high school friends invited me out with them, I jumped at the opportunity. What can I say? I would not accept a wasted night. No pun intended :).

Saturday morning I sprung out of bed with a rumbling tummy and food on the brain. I helped myself to the breakfast that is swiftly becoming a usual - (1) Place a bowl of almond milk, rolled oats, and cinnamon in the microwave for one minute, (2) Slice a banana and mash into it, (3) Top with a dollop of plain yogurt and a spoonful of almond butter, (4) Enjoy. - it's quick, easy, and delicious. I also had the true staples of green tea and water.

An inkling of a hangover unfortunately hit around one in the afternoon so a wonderfully rare nap took place. 'Twas glorious. And upon waking, I was ready to eat again. To remedy the hunger, I broke out the Dr. Praeger's California Veggie Burgers for the first time. I was very pleased with their ingredient list, visual appeal, and taste, despite the fact that they broke apart on me after cooking.

I paired them with left-over roasted potatoes, cucumber, and carrots for a light yet all the while satisfying lunch. Then, I spent the next three hours leisurely getting ready. Don't you just love when you can do that? There was more fun to be as we celebrating my brother's high school graduation and my own college one. After picking up our cake from Whole Foods, it began...

Within a half an hour of our many guests arriving, dinner was served. I piled my own plate high with salad, grilled vegetables, broccoli rabe, eggplant rollatini, shrimp, and brown rice... and I was impressed. Everything was absolutely delicious! And with a glass of Prospero's Red Table Wine, it was even better. I'm so happy to have such a great winery so close to home and continued to reap the tasting benefits throughout the night.

Following the meal I socialized with our many guests. They included extended family members on both my mom and dad's sides, family friends, former classmates, and little cousins, lots of adorable dancing little cousins.

The elderly adults, like me, also danced the night away. My great uncle's band was playing the best of the oldies and today (I sound like a radio advertisement) and there was no stopping us. Watch the video above. Please.

I'll admit it, being home is not that bad. My family is great (99.9% of the time, ha) and being surrounded by so wonderful many people that I haven't seen in far too long reminds me of how lucky I am to be close to them again. I had such a blast basking in their spectacular company.

It was particularly special to reunite with my Aunt Donna. Donna is my mom's best best friend from high school, and middle school... and elementary school, for that matter. They grew up together :). Throughout my life she's lived close and far, first down the street, then to southern New Jersey, and now, in a small town in New Hampshire. It's because of her that I am Danielle (her last name is Daniel's) and she's why I appreciate country music and Wawa's.

Today, Sunday, we headed down down down into the city to have brunch with her son, Ryan, who's studying at Pace University. Following a tour of his apartment, the six of us headed over to Stone Street Tavern. Ryan and I sadly haven't seen each other in at least four years so it was amazing to have the chance catch up.

Originally I simply ordered the Breakfast Quesadilla, but after hearing the soup of the day (Gazpacho) I ordered that too. The tomato gazpacho was unbelievable, the quesadilla not so much. I gave most of the quesadilla to my dad :).

Alright, I guess that's what happened. Hope your weekend was glorious as well! Now, onto the work week: I have an exercise routine to finally restart (tell you more about it tomorrow), my first full 4 days at Quirky (hopefully I'll have a chance to blog for them again), an e-book to read and review (similar to the last one I did for Go Backpacking), and many more social encounters, the last of which will take place in the Hamptons with a familiar Oklahoman face. ¡Hasta mañana!

home sick

Hello again! Oh it feels good to be back. First order of business: don't take this post's title too seriously :) it's not that I've been missing home (I'm here for "good," after all) or even that I'm sick of it yet but this is literally the first day I've been feeling 100% well. I've basically been a mess with a bad cough, major congestion, and a multi-day headache... in addition to losing my voice. Gross ;) apparently ten days of non-stop "senior/graduation" partying doesn't deliver the best of health. Who knew?!

After the first few days of not really eating much at all, I broke out the stove-top oatmeal last Friday morning. I had mixed my steel cuts with the last of the rolled oats that I had brought from school for a multi-texture bowl that I made the usual way with banana and fresh blackberries. Then, of course, there are the staples of the morning green tea and verre d'eau.

I've also made a return to peanut butter... for no other reason other than the fact that my mom bought a fresh container upon my return. It's a nice change but I do miss my Marantha almond deliciousness. What's your favorite nut butter?

The weather has been gorgeous, so even when I haven't been feeling in tip-top shape, I've been taking my dogs for walk to combine fresh air and a bit' o ejercicio. Walking alongside the Bronx River Parkway path in the late morning/early afternoon issuch a pleasure, mostly when Sable and Colby aren't pulling on their leashes in different directions :).

Besides today's treat, (of which I'll get to tomorrow,) lunch, has been boring.

I haven't been feeling like anything heavy so toast with hummus and spinach was usually just enough, without being too much, to get me by. Fruit was also unappetizing at the time so there goes that snack. Talk about bland!

Thankfully, the afternoons that have followed haven't been half bad. On Wednesday, I went down to the Bronx Zoo and was really excited... like really, really excited. When I was little I used to adore going to the zoo because I've always found animals to be so amazing to watch. I wanted to be a vet, after all.

This time though, as much as I enjoyed it to an extent, a couple of animals and their exhibits just made me sad. Quite a few are ridiculously far from their natural habitat and just didn't seem to be content with their manmade home. I don't know, I guess ignorance really is bliss. Still, they were beautiful, and I'm glad that I went to pay them a visit (since the money spent does go towards some conservation projects). How do you feel about zoos?

The best photos I got are the four above: a peacock, red panda, elephants, and sea lions. The red panda has always been my favorite animal. Why? I think because red is my color of choice and I like bamboo. Or some concrete reason like that ;).

By Sunday, I was much more back to my usual chipper self. My best friend Chrissie (and Laura too actually) just graduated from Fordham University and I went over to her house that evening for a little celebration. They had a delectable dinner spread of salad with gorgonzola, penne vodka, tomatoes and mozzarella, garbanzos, and Italian bread. There were quite a few carnivorous options as well :) but I obviously did not help myself to that part of the table.

If nothing else, being home is good for ^this^. Although I have stayed very close with a few of my high school bests, there are far too many people that I've lost touch with. Now, between Sunday night at Chrissie's party, and last night at a nearby bar, I have reconnected with dozens of these wonderful people. And I will actually be dining with a couple of them at a new Pleasantville soon-to-be (I can feel it) favorite, Haven tonight. This is going to be one great summer, I just know it.

senior week, day 7

Graduation weekend. It's hard to believe that it all happened just one short week ago; the end of my collegiate era, and the beginning of everything else. Here is some perspective, both literally and figuratively:

"If you're going to be passionate about something,

 be passionate about learning.

 If you're going to fight something, fight for those in need.

f you're going to qiuestion something, question authority.

If you're going to lose something, lose your inhibitions.

If you're going to gain something, gain respect and confidence.

And if you're going to hate something, 

hate the false idea that you are not capable of your dreams." -Daniel Golston

College was a period of ample independence with very little responsibility.

Being a college student was easy and challenging and fun all at the same time. 

Now, as a real adult, a college graduate sprung into the real world, it feels as though every decision I make is a big one, one that will affect the rest of my life. 

Although, in retrospect, maybe it's always been that way... couldn't have all been luck.

I'm probably being dramatic about this (I know I am) but I think I'm allowed to be... this entire transition is so overwhelmingly bittersweet. I am currently living at home. Beginning June 1st I'll be working in the city at my 3-month internship. From there? Only time will tell. And after four glorious years, I'm ready.

"Wherever you go, go will all your heart." -Confucius

Enjoy the rest of your weekend, my loves! This blog and I are headed right back to reality tomorrow :).