power, disruption, and lies

It's been nearly two weeks since I was in Malmö, Sweden for the Media Evolution conference... and I'm still on a high. I can't even help it. I put so much pressure on the serendipitous opportunity--half of me expecting (the other wishing) it to ease my doubt and provide answers as I tackle my French internship, hone in on my thesis for the spring, better articulate what it is I want to do afterwards. And you know what? It delivered, in every which way and then some. I still don't understand how that's possible.

Then again, I do. The conference kicked off with an opening keynote by Dr. Suzannah Lipscom, a historian, who said things like "it's the power to do good, the dance of the production of change, of the unpredictability of the future which makes us all liars" when taking apart the theme of this year's conference and then left us with historical examples of how, "we can use informal power to change behavior." My nerdy aspirations ran wild as experience paired inspiring presentation with insightful yet informal chats on innovation in contemporary media with a British feminist, American researcher, Dutch web programmer, Swedish artist, etc.

Before lunch on that Thursday, I listened to practical advice from Matthew and Fabian such as, "hypothesize your acquistion channel - where do they 'hang out' online?" I've already integrated this tip and many more regarding "lean marketing" into my work at PageYourself. " I also received some clarification into how I'd like to contribute to Change Making after hearing Lina and Marcin talk. I was especially blown away by Lina's Equalists Project, a campaign for equal representation for women and other minority groups across industries that has been built almost entirely on humble Facebook pages. It's rapidly expanding and I'm eager to get involved.

Afterwards, on the menu for our mid-day meal: lemon-baked turkey breast marinated with capers and parsley alongside a wheatberry salad with roasted paprika vinaigrette. I enjoyed a sparkling water and plenty of great conversation as well.

Then we jumped right back into creative and critical thinking with Cindy Gallop. I cannot even express to you how incredibly provocative her keynote was. Please just watch it. Originally a global advertising consultant, she is now focusing on a project to tap into, "the single most untapped pool of resource: personal good intentions," and another to disrupt the porn business. Yes, really. She's doing so in the most amazing way, proving that we can, "integrate social responsibility into the way we do business."

I went on to contemplate online harassment as I heard the heartbreaking personal accounts of Laurie and Anita with Kate's academic insight. Though emotional, I felt hopeful in the presence of their grace and bravery. And later, as Ruth presented Un-Convention and Foro Di Eixo, I realized how effective passion can be in mobilizing individuals into forces of collective good. Ariel, a designer turned space enthusiast, reaffirmed the fact as she shared the story of her movement for citizen space exploration.

With all potential floating in my head, I took advantage of the free glass of happy hour wine, mingled a bit, and then retreated to the Doc Lounge for The Yes Men screening. Little did I know I'd actually have the chance to ask Mike Bonanno a question I'd been wondering since my Global Advocacy class. His answer to how they measure their success: "our mission is not for The Yes Men to be better liked, but for the issue to get as much attention as possible. The point is to give voice to activists and victims." I was almost too satisfied with his response to recall the director of Searching for Sugar Man's keynote. A good night's sleep was so necessary.

Thankfully, I got one. So much so, that I had to rush out of Liselott's apartment, through Malmö, and to the contemporary Slaghuset Thursday morn. I made it to James' keynote just on time. As a seasoned critic of technological dependence, I was struck by his declaration that "technology is not a mutual good, it's a tool." It is up to us. My awe was followed by this thought: gosh, I wish I had a robotic clone to annotate Emily's beyond crowd-funding anecdotes while I learned how visual media affects culture and identity...

Alas, I did not, so I just soaked up the research inspiration as An proved how, "remix culture is a way to take control of the narrative," Tricia advocated for trust as we "preserve spaces for informal modes of interaction," that allow our elastic selves to flourish, and Kenyatta told the timeless (albeit with his comedic edge) story of the .gif. I'll admit I followed the other presentations with #theconf.

For some larger picture perspective, I went to the presentation on thinking about Now in the Past. It was wonderful to hear from Matt, someone who has clearly found his professional calling in his belief that, "the history of the future is borne of optimism." The concept aligned closer with Åsa's approach to urban planning than expected. "What defines cities is the people who live in that city." With all those ideas, I pondered my master's thesis as I ate lunch that day: salmon with sour cream and roasted dill-potatoes.

Before I knew it, the conference part of The Conference was over. (There were a few more presentations but I was too overstimulated for them to have had an impact). I cannot imagine anyone but Alexis, co-founder of Reddit, giving the closing keynote on "the importance of giving a damn about the people who are about to use and consume what you create." He's right. Lagom, a Swedish word roughly translating to a Goldilocks-esque "just enough", isn't acceptable when it comes to tackling the challenges facing society and media. I ended the night at the Malmö Festival, spent most of Friday on that Sustainable Tourism excursion, ate a Saturday lunch in Copenhagen, and walked away with the what and where of my eventual master's thesis.

P.S. For tips on how to make the most of the next conference you attend, check out this best practice I wrote for PageYourself.

swedish sustainable tourism

Gosh, aren't you wonderful? Thank you so, so much for your support. With it, and the company of friends, I've been focusing on taking advantage of this city in every which way. The bustle of la rentrée (the return of vacationing Parisians) has meant busy, productive days and long, fun nights. It hasn't come without a cost though. I'm exhausted. So much so, that I left tonight's PageYourself office-apéro early... to come home, cook, and reminisce about the serenity that came with my one day in the Swedish countryside.

Nature has a way of doing that to me. On the last day of The Conference (and, I promise, I will recap the bulk of the program itself soon), I had the opportunity to take a tour of Christinehof Ecopark. It had been created, "to protect, preserve and exhibit the sites and artifacts of natural and cultural value [wetlands and woods] that surround Christinehof", a baroque manor house. But even with such a warning, I couldn't have been prepared for the amazing experience I shared with Petter, Eva, Ariel, Leonora, and more.

We began with coffee/tea and a homemade kanelbullar (cinnamon roll) in Fyledalen; taking in the warm sun, fresh air, and lush, green surroundings. Did you know: "following Australia's lead, Sweden was the second country in the world to introduce an eco-tourism charter"? I hadn't. And yet it seems so obvious to me now. My host and every one of her friends had a cabin outside Malmö. Petter raved about Swedes' love of their great outdoors. He told us too about the wonderful constitutional law, Allemansträtten, which allows access to any and all countryside--for camping, hiking, berry-picking, etc.--as long as the natural integrity is maintained.

After, we got a taste of it ourselves. With Eva as our guide, we mingled with grazing cows, learned about an industrious Dane, chased a herd of sheep, heard about Christenhof's education programs, took a nature walk, ate edible clovers, and made lunch: baked rye with sour cream and "chicken weed" alongside a wild green soup garnished with local flowers, parsley, and more creme fraîche.

Then we retreated inside the manor house to take a look at their eclectic collection of furniture, decorative arts, and portraits, in addition to an exhibition of the work by Sweden's first professor of textile design, Hans Krondahl. The juxtaposition was gorgeous.

And just when I thought the excursion couldn't get any better, I met "the love cake." We each enjoyed a square alongside coffee or tea as we thanked Petter profusely for the unforgettable day he, Eva, and all the staff at Christinehofs Ekopark had provided; yet another Swedish memory I'll forever cherish. With that sweet thought, I'm off to finally get a good night's sleep :) happy birthday, K!

how to break up

Joey broke up with me at lunchtime. We were in 6th grade, friends since pre-school, and had been boyfriend and girlfriend for almost a year. A few months earlier, I'd lost interest; yet I continued "dating" him (read: only dancing with him at canteens, sitting next to him in the movie theatre, and kissing him on the cheek occasionally) because he was so nice. Then Mike told Joey I'd called him stupid. That's all it took. I was so frustrated by the misunderstanding, and being broken up with by a boy I hadn't wanted to be with.

Multiple times since, I've wished I'd had the nerve and the courage to end it first. I told myself it was because I was a part of the hopeful bunch, but mostly it's because I was desperately avoiding being honest with myself. I wish I'd had this wisdom then.

Recognize the flaws. There are people in this world with whom we embrace less-than-ideal traits and annoying habits with more enthusiasm than others. It's a problem if you find that s/he's getting on your nerves often, if you find yourself being impatient with those silly things you used to be able to brush off; worse yet if you're getting fed up with what s/he wants to spend his or her time doing. Who are you to be so critical? Nobody deserves that. En plus, you don't have to find ways to ignore dissatisfaction nor twinges of resentment either. The right relationships are meant to make you and him/her happier, more at ease, supported.

Drop the FOBU. With all these negative thoughts and feelings, it should be easy to accept your current relationship is not meant to be... but then what? How About We coined FOBU as the fear of breaking up. And though it's legitimate, please know you cannot will yourself content. You don't have to. As a wise lady once told me, "I urge you to never settle. I urge you not to make decisions out of fear. Take leaps of faith. Make scary decisions. Sometimes what the universe, god, whatever you believe in has for us is right around the corner, but we are holding ourselves back." Confide in friends while you grapple with this.

Be kinder. Once you're ready and willing to break up with him/her, be kind. Keep in mind how great of a wo/man s/he is, how good his/her family has been to you, how many wonderful times you've had together. Respect him/her and your shared history as you break up. And don't forget to be kindest to yourself. You're not broken for not being in love. You're not a bad person for wanting something more. You're not crazy for feeling both relieved and devastated. Breakups suck. It's hard to unravel yourself from the entanglement of your relationship, to let go of his/her companionship. Take all the time and feelings you need. You'll be okay.

As you've probably guessed at this point, I'm single. It was the right thing to do, he was sadly on the same page, and I'm mostly okay... but I'd be lying if I said I didn't write this for me as much as I did for you. I was so hopeful I was going to experience love a second time, it had seemed so probable, and then I didn't. Gosh, even the story had sounded perfect! I think the worst part is knowing how much I want to be able to say, "And when I met you, my heart sighed."Alas, c'est la vie. Here's to hoping happier comes somewhat soon. Cue the experiences to savor in the mean time, and maybe, eventually, I'll want to mingle again, too.

{More photos of Malmö}

sweden's third city

I had a good feeling about Malmö, the Swedish city that sounds so “Scandi” (according to friends like Anna) yet hadn’t existed to me before I stumbled across the Media Evolution conference that was to be held there. My late night experience reinforced this optimism; as did Liselott(CouchSurfing host)'s morning apologies for only having muesli and milk for breakfast—my Parisian standard, her suggestion that we meet for dinner on Thursday evening at the city’s annual festival, and her Friday night invite to the city's chocolate factory turned microbrewery. I got a good sense of it too from intermingling with media and academic professionals from the area. But I’m not reflecting on the conference, not yet. Today, I’d just like to share a glimpse of Sweden’s third largest city that’s still small enough to be digested in a 4-day visit. I walked to and from the Slagthuset (an atmospheric former slaughterhouse, it's possible) each morning and evening to make sure I saw as much as possible. And I can’t imagine not knowing (and loving) it now.

By the way, I’m not one for souvenirs, but couldn’t resist buying my mom (the woman who ultimately gave me the courage to make this trip possible) traditional Swedish licorice … salted. It’s a thing. Also, I totally loved being introduced to Say Lou Lou’s music.