matthew & laura

I'm just going to come out and say it: marriage freaks me out. Even as a self-proclaimed romantic, I can't begin to fathom what it's like to be so sure about spending (and sharing) the rest of your life with another. I imagine it'd be something like this..?

{via pinterest}

Even so, I'm confident the truest and deepest kind of love--one that perhaps I have yet to experience--has the power to bring about this certainty of commitment. I've seen it. Behold, photographic evidence from my beautiful friend's beautiful wedding:

Pure love... in her mother's eyes, in their embrace during the first dance, in the thoughtful words of the maid of honor (my old roommate)'s speech. I felt so privileged to share in such a happy, monumental evening (and with the perfect date, too).

litb

Two people I grew up with--one in the traditional sense, the other one on Syracuse University's campus--passed away recently.

Her and I weren't best friends, per se, but we were friendly for four years. There are photos of us from bid day (she was the only familiar face then), college graduation, and many sorority parties in between. She was smart and sweet; the kind of woman for whom phrases like "beautiful inside and out" are made for. I can hardly believe our current reality. Just this past weekend, a joyous occasion brought me to Syracuse with five women (sisters) we both adored. One shared life begun, another tragically lost.

the 'cuse bucket list

I graduated from Syracuse University nearly two years ago. Crazy, isn't it? I've also visited three times since then: (1) for my first homecoming as an alum, (2) to support my sorority sisters, and most recently, (3) "just because." This past weekend, I simply wanted to visit two very good friends who still live in the Syracuse-area (one of whom just got engaged!) and one very special grand-little who will soon be graduating. If you've been reading danielle abroad for a while now, you know that I had an absolutely phenomenal undergraduate experience, so trips back up to Central New York are always a great time.

In addition to spending time with a few of the people I love most, I also wanted to take the opportunity to check a couple of very important things off my 'Cuse Bucket List and nostalgically relive some my best college-y memories. I cannot even tell you how I thrilled I am to have accomplished it all in a matter of days. Go me! ;)

I arrived late on Saturday afternoon to Meg's apartment. We lounged around with her boyfriend and his friend, and ended up ordering a perfectly delicious pizza for dinner. Later on, we left the boys and headed to SU to meet a few girls at Lucy's.

I expected to "feel old" and not stay too long at one of my favorite Marshall Street bars, but as it ended up, Meg and I spent the entire night at there. What fun. We danced and drank with a fabulous group of younger girls from our sorority.

The following morning, we slept in and then set out to Green Lakes State Park. Such a gorgeous sight! The strikingly scenic park contains blue-green lakes (obviously) that get their unusually bright color from rare minerals in the water.

Please don't ask how I managed not to come here for a trail run or lakeside picnic at any point in those four years I went to college just a few miles away...

Following our nature excursion, Meg had to make a quick grocery run and I was more than happy to join. Wegman's is a magical place. How I'd missed it so.

From there, she brought me to Laura's apartment. We caught up for a few minutes and admired her beautiful ring before Meg headed home. Soon after, Laura and I went downtown for a very important dinner at Dinosaur Bar-B-Que.

It was important because it was my first meal there, and that is ridiculous. Dinosaur Bar-B-Que is one of those Syracuse restaurants that nearly every student loves. The wait is always long and the food is always worth it. 

Laura and I shared a Swag Sampler Plate with Chicken Wings, Fried Green Tomatoes, Catfish Strips, Deviled Eggs, and an assortment of dipping sauces. On my own, I also enjoyed an entrée of the Big Ass Pork Plate (pork shoulder smoked low & slow, hand pulled & piled high) served with Honey Hush Cornbread, Cole Slaw, and Simmered Turkey Neck Collard Greens. I'm so glad I eat healthfully most of the time, because this... was delicious. Again, how have I never been?!

That evening, Laura and I rolled ourselves back to her apartment and watched a favorite movie of us both (Crazy, Stupid, Love) before bed.

I awoke early this Monday morning. Laura went off to work and I got set up with my laptop in her apartment. Trouble is, as soon as I was supposed to have a virtual meeting, her internet cut out. I scrambled to get myself ready and walk over to campus to use good ol' Air Orange. I hopped around my favorite campus study spots for the rest of the day. It was pretty wonderful; I'm so sentimental.

At some point in the afternoon, Katelyn texted me to ask if I'd like to join her at Hot Yoga. I'd hung out with her briefly on Saturday night but jumped at the opportunity to see her again and stretch a bit at my former yogic locale.

Following our class, Laura and I dropped her off at Brockway (my freshman year dorm too!) and ran a few errands. Then I met up with my grand-little for dinner at Faegan's. The photo you see above was our first, taken at my last formal.

Much to my surprise, Kate had never eaten there before--a small feat being that Faegan's is the one of the best Marshall Street pub restaurants. I used to go there all the time, especially when my friends and I wanted to eat out as freshman but didn't have a car to drive off campus. I believe my parents and I ate there when we came to tour Syracuse, too. Anyway :) I had a cup of their White Chili (chunks of chicken breast, fresh veggies, cilantro & white beans topped with cheddar, sour cream, & scallions) and a Field Greens Salad as we caught up.

I then convinced her to meet me at Chuck's later that evening. If you recall, Chuck's is the best and I spent many a happy hour/late night there. It was so good to be back! Plus, I saw about a dozen more girls that I hadn't yet. Happy Monday?

It was, made more so because I was able to enjoy the quintessential Chuck's signage. Signing the walls of Chuck's is, thankfully, a 'Cuse Bucket List item I've already taken care of. That would've been embarrassing otherwise...

On my final morning, Kate and I went out for brunch at Eggplant (it's my favorite diner). We split an order of scrambled eggs with our blueberry pancakes and strawberry Belgian waffles, respectively. Following our leisurely morning meal, we crossed the street to my beloved B&N for coffees and books until Kate eventually dropped me off at SU, I walked around campus with Laura, and Meg drove me to the train. Syracuse had treated me very well, but it was time to go home :(.

For fun, here's the rest of the 'Cuse Bucket List items I came up with: 

1. Take a picture with Otto. (The photo above = freshman year orientation.)
2. Go to a football/basketball/lacrosse game.
3. Eat at every dining hall.
4. Pull an all-nighter.
5. Become involved with more than one SU club.
6. Explore Armory Square.
7. Shop & see a movie at the Carousel mall.
8. Party with Greek life.
9. Volunteer on and off-campus.
10. Go the the New York State Fair.
11. Play in the snow and in the sun on the Quad.
12. Enroll in Wine & Beer Appreciation.
13. Attend a local sporting event.
14. Venture to Ithaca for AppleFest.
15. Become familiar with SUArt Galleries and Syracuse Stage.
16. Experience the Cayuga Wine Trail.
17. Take a run to South Campus.
18. Dine at Elderberry Pond.
19. Enjoy an Orange Appeal performance.
20. Visit a farm in the area.
21. Celebrate MayFest.
22. Make lifelong friends, and find the time to support them.
23. Roadtrip to Canada.
24. Drink at every bar on the Hill.
25. Spend far too much time in Newhouse/the Warehouse/____________

real, strong Syracuse

They took our letters off of the house this morning. (Moment of silence). 

Don't worry, I will explain. There are a lot of happenings on that beloved orange hill of mine that I've failed to mention. 

One being that my homecoming weekend in Syracuse was tainted by an unexpected and awkward run in with an ex. The other being that the governing national body of Alpha Chi Omega has recently taken away my sorority's charter. 

Let's ignore that first revelation and focus on the second. 

The Lambda chapter will no longer exist on Syracuse University's campus. Why? Well, lots of reasons, most for which the sisters that I know and love cannot be blamed. It's devastating, really. 

An overwhelming amount of alumni have reached out to Nationals to plead for a reconsideration. There is a certain loyalty at the core of sisterhood is there not? To support and take care of each other, even if those darkest moments. I most definitely believe so. But, instead, they just gave up. 

In a very public response letter (on Facebook no less, real sensitive) Marcia King Grady wrote, "And I'm angry and frustrated that a second chance was offered but wasn't taken--or taken seriously enough to encourage positive change." 

What she failed to mention, however, was the accusing way in which they entered our Lambda home, the hostility our honesty was met by, and the little guidance or care that they actually provided.

Now, fellow alumni and I are left with sore hearts and bitter tastes, whereas our sisters still on campus must now move forward with strength, dignity and letters. I doubt that many of the younger women realize the experience that was ruthlessly taken from them, yet somehow, their love for Lambda has kept them, us, together. 

I didn't want to "go greek," I've never been the quintessential "sorority girl," but the wonderfulness that was my collegiate experience can be due, in a large part, to a very special Lambda chapter. And it is for all of the above that I went to Syracuse this past weekend. I had so much fun with my best friends and made up for a tainted previous experience, and it's those memories that are timeless.

do you realize? (syracuse, ny)

When I was a freshman in college, I shared a room with a stranger. She was from New Jersey, a TRF and English double major, and, she would soon become one of my best friends. Down the hall from our room 209, was another soon-to-be best friend. We spent almost our entire year together--the three of us studying in C & I's bedroom, having dinner in the upstairs dining hall, braving the cold in hopes of getting into an open party--and the following summer I went to visit K in her home state of Oklahoma for the first time. K, like many of my friends, was far more knowledgeable about music than I. She introduced me to the Flaming Lips, a band of which we were lucky enough to meet and see in concert during my stay. I've been thinking about one of their songs a lot more lately.

In our English language, "Do you realize?" is simply asking whether or not you understand the given concept or statement. In Spanish, French, and other romantic languages however, the terms "realize" or realizar or réaliser signify not just a mental grasp, but a physical one.

A physical grasp on a concept or statement, what could I ever mean by that

Oh, well, you know, something like: I'm going to take a solo road trip around the United States.

When I had my one and only "oh my gosh, I'm half-way across the country, in an strange city, and all by myself... WTF" breakdown, I touched on how I made the lofty statement above possible. The idea sprung from a GPS Christmas gift and came to be because my original driving companion couldn't join me and because I had spent the past six months (graduation party included) saving up for a post-graduation adventure. I made sure to plan the places I wanted to stop in and seek out people with whom I could stay with. I already knew of friends or family in a few of the destinations; during the summer, I met even more people who were moving back home or to jobs and willing to offer me a couch and/or company. In the end, there were only six cities left, and so I joined CouchSurfing to put myself into contact with wonderful globetrotting strangers who were happy to host me.

Then I had the most incredible experience familiarizing myself with our great country. And even more so meeting at least three new people on a daily basis. By the time I made it Syracuse for homecoming weekend, I couldn't even believe half the things that I'd done nor that had happened to me. And yet, I was thrilled to be in a familiar place, surrounded by some of my favorite people, with the knowledge that I had done it. I did it! With hard work, perseverance, and a fun-loving, easygoing, friendly disposition, I had carried out an aspirational statement and made it my six-week reality. Would it be so bold of me to admit that I'm proud of myself?

I sure hope not, because I am :). Not because I thought I would fail, (oh no, I try my absolute best not to harbor such negative thoughts), but because I had faith in the childhood belief that anything and everything is possible, especially at a time in my life when most people have given up on their ability to choose and do.

With each birthday, we're faced with more responsibilities that bind us to a predictable day-to-day life. Though we're not no longer able to realize our goals, it most definitely becomes more difficult to do so. Still, after 44 days, and nearly 9,000 miles, I have met enough real-life examples that haven proven to me how much we can change and improve our lives at any time. We can take control of how we choose to live. And for those elements that we cannot control, we can surround ourselves with people that matter, be grateful for all that we have, take note of the little thing that make us happy each and every day, and hope for the best.

Now that I'm home and the job search has really begun, these words by The Alchemist, one of my many books on tape, holds a lot more meaning. I hope they can inspire you to realize whatever it is that desire to achieve as well.

"It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting." / "When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too."

P.S. Today was both National Love Your Body Day and the Wear Purple, Show Support, Have Spirit event. I sincerely hope you were able to participate! Each one of us deserves a happy, healthy, and full life.