But you should know that I'm telling myself that more than I'm telling you. When I blog that my life is seemingly complete, when I proudly state that I've figured some things out, oftentimes it is to remind myself of these things more than anything. And note that when you give me a few glasses of sangria with a splash of hormones, those insecurities of mine rear their very ugly heads.
There is a school of thought that says we are worth taking care of ourselves, that we deserve to be healthy. That is all well and good, most definitely so, and yet I'll admit that my own quest in eating mindfully, exercising regularly, and living positively is rooted elsewhere. Every now and then, I realize that I maintain my mostly healthy habits to feel good about myself in the first place. When I honor my body, mind, and soul, it helps me to realize that I am a worthwhile person. It helps me to believe that I am deserving of happiness, contentment, and love.
Am I pleased to admit that? Not exactly. Honestly, I think it's sad that for as encouraging I can be of others, I cannot seem to get over my personal self- issues. With that said, however, I do know that it is just as healthy to admit these things, to discuss them with best friends at, say, happy hour, and to consciously work through them. And although I do not wish negativity on anyone, I desperately hope (especially because I so publicly said such things) I'm not the only one.
So yes, perhaps I am awesome. But I'm also not perfect.