Thursday, August 5, 2010

over wednesday wine

"I'm back on the market. But I don't really feel like being back on the market." said Glamour's Dating blogger, Erin Meanley. In my case, I've gotten used to my single status. I'm not always thrilled about it, not always happy, but usually I'm content with my independence. As far as being ready to mingle/see other people/date, however, I'm not so sure I'm interested. So! When she listed those 36 experiences "every singleton should savor" I must admit that I took note.
[a shared Cheese Tasting]

From the first ten, To build your confidence, I found three especially intriguing: Go to a movie alone, Train for (and finish) a huge physical test like a half-marathon, and Learn to stand up for yourself. Funny side note, her addition to that last one is, "If you're not naturally assertive, may I recommend moving to New York City? It did wonders for me." Hm, that's advice to consider :). I have yet to try the first (perhaps I might try Eat, Pray, Love) but have worked on the second two on my own to an extent and they've certainly been more than rewarding. Who knows, maybe I'll suddenly be inspired to Lift weights too. She says, "When I bench-press 45 lbs., I feel like the bomb." I wish I were that cool.
[the delightful Pinot Trio]

The next six are To be able to look back and say "I had fun." My favorite? Get drunk during the day, just because you can. Attend Santacon, the convention for Santas, or something similar. Is that a laugh out loud I hear? Not so sure I'll be at Santacon :) but I've been enjoying the just because I can part of things! Most recently, I've found, in the form of Sunday mimosas or midweek wine bars. Last night, for example, I had the pleasure of meeting Sagan at the Tangled Vine. I've been reading her blog for some time now so it was really nice to meet her, she's really just as lovely as she seems.

[the ultimate Beet Salad]

Sagan and I sat there chatting for nearly two and a half hours and not surprisingly touched on a few love life stories and advice. Whether or not I feel like actively pursuing things To make you appreciate the next guy (Do at least one Valentine's Day alone isn't too bad but I hope to avoid number 22, Date the creeps) I definitely agree with seeking out opportunities To Get Perspective. Road Trip, anyone? 
[one of the three four glorious bottles]

Jumping ahead a bit, the last one on the list To Appreciate Being Single is: Host a girls-only night. I think some coupled-up women forget how much we need each other. Last week, I met four of my best friends from high school at Pour Café and Wine Bar for a fabulous Wednesday night of heart to hearts. Consequently, this occurred after a day of bonding time with my grandmother and investing in a few things To Feel Sexy and Attractive. Since my personal bank account isn't exactly booming, she was generous enough to Buy something frivolous and expensive that you LOVE wearing. I cannot wait to debut my pretty new blouse.
[a comforting Warm White Bean Dip]

Between my old friends, and my new ones, I have also had more than enough chances To Make the Most of Your Free Time. Meaney's suggestions are to Finish all of your schooling if you can, check, and, Throw yourself into something time-consuming, like learning a foreign language. Since I can't taste wine all day, every day (or can I?) I would certainly not mind welcoming a new activity of dedication, I just have to figure out what it is first.
[the delectable Nutella Panini]

In the mean time, I can occupy myself with things To Make Myself a Better Partner in the Future, and I'd like to add, a Better Person in the Present. I'd love to Learn to cook well and I could definitely use a little bit of Get your finances in order. Investing in transforming my home into a go-to wine bar will could be more economical, for instance ;). The bottom line of all of these 36 Things, I think, is finding ways to not only enjoy being single, but to enjoy yourself. You've got your whole life to live with the ever-wonderful you, might as well make it worthwhile. 

So, my dear readers, I ask you, single or not, what things do you do just for you?


  1. danielle...what an inspiring post! as a fellow single gal, i think it is so easy to get down because there is no boy present. trust me, i do it all the time. but i love the idea of preparing yourself to be a good partner in the meantime...experience, savor, have fun and rack up lots of fun stories to impress those future guys with, right?

    looking at this list, i am going to try and so some of these in the future...

    - sit at a bar alone and drink a martini
    - finish some more schooling
    - get my finances together
    - lift weights
    - learn to stand up for myself

    many of the other things i've go to a movie alone, fly to a foreign country alone, date creeps and watch all the reality tv i want, just to name a few.

    can't wait for your visit!!!

  2. Although I am married, there are numerous things I enjoy doing alone...nature walks, coffee at coffee shops, tea room lunches and long soaks in my tub! I am trying to get to all the blogger addresses that are registered for Healhty Living Summitt! See you next week!

  3. Loved that list--as a girl who spent the first 21 years of her life as a singleton, I can honestly say that I've already done many of those things:)

  4. dear danielle,
    i read this post on my way to work on my iPhone and was actually looking forward to responding later in the evening when I had time for a worthy response. :) I can relate with BH: i was almost 21 before I met my first boyfriend, so I did many of these things before then, and then the more adult things in the two(ish) years between boyfriend number one and boyfriend number two (BT). i always feel like being alone is both a punishment (for needy folk such as myself) and a blessing - you can explore so much about yourself, do things you'd never do, and really get a grasp on independence when you're single. a few of the most remarkable things i did while single i am proud of:

    -quit my job, got a new job and developed career goals.
    -moved into a new apartment, built ikea furniture without the help of a boy ;)
    -developed a new hobby: blogging. it became a boyfriend of sorts in that it took up time. sad but true.
    -put myself out there! i became less shy and inhibited, and this was SO empowering!

    i can't say i'm not happy to be taken, but there are many perks to singledom - so long as you embrace it and find good in it as you are doing! rock on chica :)

  5. Holly: Thanks, darling! I'm glad you found it useful. Can't wait to meet and catch up on our wonderful independent lives :).

    Jane @ Sweet Basil Kitchen: Oh those are forever solo things, how nice! Looking forward to meeting you as well!

    BroccoliHut: Thank you, I'm sure you were in the best place possible when you met your current beau :).

    crunchygranolagal: You're too sweet! I'm so happy you wanted to fully comment. Sounds like you made quite the monumental changes in between the mediocre and outstanding ;) I'm happy you're happy! Thanks for the encouragement!

  6. I can't believe I have yet to try a beet salad! Or, more importantly, a nutella panini. I can just tell I'm missing out!! And something I do just for me is yoga/working out in general. It's nice to take a break and just do something for you!

  7. Megan D: These are very important things to try, Miss Megan. Get to it! Yoga/working out in general is an amazingly solo activity. I think you just inspired my next post :)

  8. Oh man, I love that list...and after going over it realized that i have done so many of those things! there are still a few i need to work on though...;)

  9. Trying To Heal: Don't you? Me too :) way to go for making it part-ways through the list! Now get cracking- go to a bar alone to have a martini and be even more cool than you are already.

  10. Going to an off-Broadway show with a fellow blogger is also a good idea ;) Had a lovely time meeting you too Danielle! 2:30pm tomorrow? (Yes I'm a pest :)).


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