Wednesday, February 10, 2010

doubt it

I was thinking about "me at my weakest" today. You know, when I don't feel pretty enough or don't trust that I'm going to do well on an exam. You have those moments too, don't you? Or even, on those (ever fewer and farther between) times where I find myself overeating food that I don't really enjoy to compensate for lack of satisfaction elsewhere. Self-doubt. I've spoken of confianza before, but never of the opposite, and I believe that is where my problem lies. Yet I say this not because I've been doubting myself, quite the contrary actually; I have been so not doubtful that I've stumbled upon myself treating my body, mind, and soul with the utmost respect by default. Why yes, I have been yoga-ing for the past two days... how could you tell? ;)
I won't show you all of the Alpha Chi Omega recruitment pictures, neither of us have the time to look at all those dozens of beautiful girls (so biased), but I thought I'd display a quick photo duo. It was exhausting, even stressful, but we have bonded together so strongly  and wonderfully that I can't imagine having spent the past month of my life participating in anything else.
Last Saturday night, once we had tied up all loose ends of the process, we came upstairs to find that our advisor had prepared us a late pasta dinner with a spread of sundae ingredients. Since I'd already eaten, I only helped myself to the ice cream (no complaints here) and added my own chocalate-y and nutty toppings. I deserved this so much.
But it wasn't over yet. Sunday, was Bid Day, and thus, beyond exciting, as I told you in my most hammed-up self later that night. I first went to the student center for the reveal (when the new girls receive their bids) and screamed my little head off while jumping around like a bean. Then I came back to the house, ate lunch and watched, thrilled, as the babies (new girls) came running down the street to their new "home." The dance party that ensued lasted two hours.
Check. Next, I had some down time before our sisterly dinner. Pastabilities was served as a surefire crowd pleaser followed by platters of Insomnia Cookies. Scrumptious, no doubt about it.
'Twas a jolly good time! I loved meeting and getting to know girls that I hadn't spoken to during rush. They're so adorable, and little, and had me wondering how 4 years had passed since I'd been in their shoes. Seriously, where does all this time go?
The comforting thing to know is that some things never change, like the way that a big green salad with hummus always make me feel refreshed mid-day. This was today's lunch (times two, duh) and it made me think of Miss Gena, the raw goddess that she is. I haven't mentioned it until now, but I actually met with her a couple of times over the summer for nutrition counseling; 
It was easier to eat a high-raw diet then. Still, although I haven't upheld those same raw principles, I've definitely taken what I've learned and applied to my current living (and eating) situation. She is, and has been, a huge component in this progression towards the doubtlessness... plus she's currently giving away a blender to travel with. Can't help but love a gal like that.


  1. The whole sorority experience sounds so exciting!! It must have been a little bittersweet too. Isn't life great when you're not doubtful? It's just so much easier :)

  2. I love your fearless attitude! so motivating :) you look beautiful in that black dress, i love the red belt detail... my school doesn't have sororities but a lot of my friends from high school are in them and it makes me a tad bit jealous ;)

    that's so cool that gena counseled you! i love her recipes. but since i'm lazy i barely make them :( i do love hummus blobs on top of veggies... hummus makes the world go round haah

  3. Large salads with hummus always help me feel grounded and joyous, too!! So touched by this post, and so honored to have inspired you a little bit. Don't give me too much credit, though -- you know who you are and what you want, and I have had little to do with that. xo

  4. Love your blog and esp. love it when you write about sisters in the bond - nice to hear all your positive-ness from recruitment and bid day!. I always want to eat something "good for me" after my daily trip to your blog :) - YITB and WDA

  5. K from ksgoodeats: It is definitely all that. And Y-E-S :)

    *Andrea*: Thank you, I'm liking it too ;) the red "belt is actually a long beaded necklace that I subbed as my red accent", you can see the color scheme in the second photo. As for sororities, yes they are fabulous, but I think you can find that same sisterhood in other organizations like sports teams, tight-knit organizations, and involved jobs like ambulance corps, I hope you find your niche :). And thanks for your support, it was very helpful and informative and I actually found that while I was actively sticking to it, food prep was quicker and easier. I wasn't making her exquisite raw food for company recipes, mind you, but still. Can't get enough of that hummus, I hear ya!

    Gena: I'm glad because you really have. Thanks for always believing me, and showing me to believe in myself too <3

    jsbh: I'm so glad that you do! And that my healthy lifestyle habits are rubbing off on you :) hope to see you around the blogosphere fellow sistah!

  6. Hey girl, I definitely have those "weak" moments. But finding ways to pick ourselves up and become strong again helps us learn SO much.

    Congrats on making it through recruitment! I cannot believe we are finished with sorority life. Weird.

  7. Sororities have always looked a little scary to me, but you really make it seem like fun. I've wondered more than once if I made a mistake in not rushing.

  8. jenngirl: True, thanks, and... I know :/

    louisianagrown: I'm glad I've been changing your mind about them. It's weird bc I too was very wary. Girls are mean, caddy, superficial, and judgemental... or they can be, and I could not understand why anyone would want to be a part of a huge organization of them where you were basically forced to like each other and constantly hang out. I hate to put it this way, but I only rushed because my friends convinced me too; not in a "let's all be in the same house" way but with the following statement: if you hate it, you can drop out whenever, but how will you ever know if you don't give it a try. So I did, I ended up loving it, and finding a place where I really felt like I belonged. It's been an amazing experience and I've met so many wonderful people that I probably wouldn't have met otherwise and although it's not always perfect, I can't imagine my life at SU without. But check my response to *Andrea* because I certainly don't think greek life is the only way to go :).


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