Wednesday, December 1, 2010

come what may

It's eight o'clock on a Wednesday morn: the rain is coming down hard outside my window, the sky is gray, my room is cold. I have no desire to get up, get dressed, and get myself to NYSC for a vinyasa yoga class. Yet I'll probably go anyway.
Some would call that willpower, but I beg to differ. I think that my decision to make myself go--despite the fact that I'd rather stay warm, dry, and comfortable in bed--is rather a reflection on my personal understanding that I will feel even better after the class. I'm not sure if that comes from age or experience, or maybe it's a combination of both. I think they call that wisdom, right? In these past few weeks, I've felt more strong, centered, and proud of my accomplishments (mental, physical, and emotional) and I'm not ready to give that up quite yet. At least not until the week after next when my "30 days for $30" promotion runs out... then I'll just have to deal until I find my next feel better booster ;). Please note that I am sipping today's coffee extra thoughtfully as I ponder this.
There are mainly two decisions that we have to make at most hours the day. The first is what we're going to do in any given situation that comes bearing choices. The second is how we're going to react to those things, people, and events that just kinda happen to us. Truth is, even those with control issues (ahem) must accept at one point or another that they'll never be able to regulate everything. Sad but true, haha. 
Like say you meet Leslie for a networking event, end up drinking more wine than you bargained for (and enjoy every second of it), catch the last train home by all of 30 seconds and then sleep right through your stop. You wake up just in time to jump off at a stop ten miles north of you but it's 3:15 a.m. at this point and there's no way you're going to be able to land a ride home. Well, there's nothing to do but call a cab and scrounge together the cash that you have floating around in your purse. It should be so easy, except you just met a girl in the same situation, with far less clothes on (there's a winter chill in the air), whose phone has died, lives 15 miles farther south than you, has no cash whatsoever and no opportunity to retrieve any since the three banks in close proximity aren't hers and their doors only choose to open for cardholding members. In this case, there's nothing left to do but offer to let her share the cab and pay for the entire ride. Sure, there are other options... but not really. And a few weeks later you will receive half of the expenses as promised. In the words of Psychology Today, "Open heart, open eyes."
Some decisions are easier to make than others. Even fewer are as transparent as the one above. At the ripe age of twenty-two, when life's opportunities are, without question, limitless, there is no such thing as the right way. So, those like me must take chances, embark on leaps of faith, choose to do what feels right. After that, we can only hope that those areas of life that are beyond our control will come as blessings. No matter if they're blessings in disguise; we'll figure that out eventually. There really is no better way to go about living our lives otherwise. 
Today I am thankful for my youth, and for the facts above, even if I oftentimes need lovely friends to remind me why. In other news, can you believe that it's already December 1st? I hope you rang it in in an appropriately festive manner. I've decided that I'm going to make the most of every last moment in 2010, and when the January does come, there will be no resolutions made. In this coming year of wonder, I wouldn't choose to have it any other way.


  1. Aw I really liked this one :)

    FYI, I will be in Brooklyn for 5 days over New Year's, we should really try to get together for lunch or something! I miss you :)

  2. This is sweet.

    There's something to it, knowing what you need to feel good, to live healthy and fully (for ourselves and others)... and to act upon that.

  3. Rachel: Thanks, love. I sent you an email! We should definitely meet up :).

    Sagan: I couldn't have said it better myself! Love you vlog, btw, I almost felt like I was hanging out with you again ;).

  4. how did i never hear this story about the cab ride home!? wow. big kudos to you for doing such a good deed! especially under the influence of the amount that we drank that night.

    i like your philosophizing on decision-making. i think a lot of life is about circumstance and choice - finding opportunities and then deciding what to do with them. most of the time, it's hard to regret seizing those opportunities, whether it be an hour on a yoga mat or, um, longer journeys.

    ps: the red leaves on your car look really beautiful. :)

  5. leslie: Because we haven't seen in each other in too long! Thank God that's ending tonight :) and thank you for everything as always.


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