how to belong

Adaptability. You may have heard that's it's the #1 life skill you learn and practice while studying abroad and/or working in an international environment. It definitely is one of them. I'd argue the ability to create a sense of belonging is even greater though.

It's freaking hard to build relationships with strangers who grew up in a world separate from your own, to observe norms you're not familiar with and then take them on yourself... to thrive as the only American woman in an office of tech-minded French guys. And yet, whether or not I actually have an INFJ personality, doing so has been one of the most rewarding foreign experiences thus far.

I worked from home today, and tomorrow, I'll meet the PageYourself team at our new office in the 18th. Au revoir, Le Réfectoire ! We will no longer have medicore burgers and bomb-a** fries at our disposal. But, for the next two weeks at least, I'll continue enjoying a "male-skewed" lunchtime diet. The sentimentality is already kicking in full throttle. I'm going to miss my coworkers.

How did I get to this point? I "kept on swimming", even if I really wanted to give up sometimes. And honestly, that's the most valuable advice I could give. Adapting is a process of excitement, resentment, and acceptance. Sometimes mojitos help, but maintaining perspective on the impermanence is an even safer bet. Now I just have to remind myself that diving into solitary thesis research doesn't at all mean losing these personal and professional connections. Le sigh. Second transition of the year: go!

"There’s an old adage that says you leave pieces of yourself wherever you go, wherever you’ve called home. And I suppose that’s true. But, it’s kind of bullshit, too, like most old adages and their supposed relative truth. It’s not the pieces themselves that matter. It’s the size of those pieces you leave behind and the size of the hole they’re trying to fill that matter. Because you can have the biggest pieces of yourself that are connected to these places and the sense of belonging that you derive from them and still not manage to fill the hole. Your sense of belonging starts when you stop asking other people and places permission to belong. It’s not about where you “feel like” you should be. It’s about where you are, and you belong wherever you are." -Jon Hamlin

a berliner in nyc, day 3

"Are you ever coming back?," they asked. It was every friend and family member's favorite question while I was home. And all I could say was, "yes, but I don't know when." The truth is, I'm not sure anymore--whether I want to be abroad for the next six months, two years, or ten. Legality and costs are concerns as well. Even though it was easy to float back into my life in Paris, New York will always mean home to me; it's what made bringing the boy to nostalgic places and unforgettable people so special.

(1) Enjoy a classic New York breakfast--iced coffee and a bagel--at Chelsea Market. (2) Take the subway downtown to the Financial District. (3-4) Ride the Staten Island Ferry to and from. (5-6) Have lunch al fresco at South Street Seaport. (7) Never forget. (8) Drift into Tribeca. (9) Wander through Soho. (10) Stay a while in Washington Square Park. (11) Walk the High Line. (12) Soak up the views from Terroir's pop-up on The Porch. (13) Celebrate happy hour(s) with sorority sisters at The Standard Biergarten.

americana burgers & fries

Last night, before Barack Obama won his second term in the White House, I took a red, cherry-flavored shot of vodka with a friend from New York and another from D.C. to celebrate our 3rd place trivia game victory. The shots were followed by Czech beer. We were at an Election Night Meetup at a Scottish Pub on Paris' left bank.

It is (and has been) an interesting experience to be abroad during election season. For one thing, I haven't been bombarded by political ads or phone calls. For another, Obama is overwhelmingly popular in France, as he is in other countries. Am I happy about the re-election? Simply put, yes. To quote the wonderfully-wise Alyssa Arminio:

Disclaimer: I respect ALL political opinions, even if they do not match my own. That being said, this election was extremely near and dear to my heart and I needed to share that. I'm a woman, and I deserve control over my own body. I'm a member of the middle class, and I deserve affordable healthcare. Some of my very best friends are members of the LGBT community, and they deserve the same basic human rights that everyone else has. To me, giving equality to our fellow Americans is more important than giving tax cuts to the wealthy. It's not about money. It's about compassion. And always will be.

[Burger Campagne (ground beef, wild mushrooms, caramelized onions, aged gruyère), "French" fries]

With that said, on a not political note, I will now segue into American food in France. It's pretty awesome to have the opportunity to view/taste my own culture through another culture's eyes. While in Bretagne, I passed more than one "Buffalo Grill," whereas here in Paris I've enjoyed more than one American chef-led establishment: Verjus, Semilla, Bob's Juice Bar, and most recently, Le Camion Qui Fume.

More and more Parisians are embracing gourmet burgers and food trucks, and Le Camion qui Fume is at the forefront of this culinary revolution. I learned just how rightfully so as I savored every last morsel of the 10€ burger and fries. Scrumpitous! And this is coming from an American who is anything but "a burger person."